Forgiveness Day 3: Job 14: 16-17

16 For now You number my steps, But do not watch over my sin. 17 My transgression is sealed up in a bag, And You cover my iniquity.

My Reflection:

I absolutely was not going to do a post today at all and truth be told, this post is actually coming before the time I actually set aside to do my daily reading.  I was feeling a certain kind of way yesterday/earlier this morning and to be COMPLETELY honest and transparent, I am still feeling a certain kind of way but considering that I have not been to sleep yet, I'm going to yield to Daddy and write this blog (and whatever else He wants me to) so that eventually I can get some sleep. I am not in a happy place...I am not in a very forgiving mood...toward myself or toward others right now...

Over the course of the last 2.5-3 hours I had two very different conversation with two very different people.  My friend (Nikki Mack) has been a very present force in my life the last few weeks/months and another friend of mine both seemed to have a lot to say about a particular status I posted on facebook.  Now while I can say both of these conversation started off similar they took two very different turns, but some how, kind of parked in the same neighborhood so I'm gonna venture to say that that had everything to do with Daddy and His plan for me.

I am really trying to find that place where I am happy and content with what is going on in and around my life.  I need to be able to truly be okay with the people and situations that I say I'm okay with.  I need my words and actions to lined up.  I need my heart and mind to be on one accord.  More than anything I need to walk in a light that provides a shining example for my baby girls, those around me and those who look up to me. I want and need to find that happy medium to function in.

So my prayer...

Daddy,
You know what's going on inside my heart, that which I can articulate and that which I can't.  I need You to fix it because no one else can.  I've tried and I've failed time and time again.  I'm tired of hurting, I'm tired of going in circles. Let this be the last time I have to take this test and let me take it and pass it in a way that everyone knows that it is only by Your love, grace, and mercy that I've moved on and that I'm moving forward with my life. I am ready and willing to be a living testimony for you....

Until Next Time....